Okay mother fuckers, I saw Indy at midnight and it rocked the shit. Honestly, I have to say that Indy is in my top 3 for 2008 thus far, along with There Will Be Blood and Iron Man. This flick was entertaining from start to finish, and had little to no flaws. What I was amazed by was that when I left the theater, I was ranting about the awesomeness and about 14 people were like YO THIS SHIT BLEW YOU RETARD NO HOMO. I asked why, their responses:
"YO MAD ONE LINERS SO CHEESEY"
"ALIENS WTF IS THAT SHIT YO"
"YO BAD DIRECTING"
"YO GEORGE LUCAS WROTE THIS SHIT NO WONDER IT STANKS"
"SWORD FIGHTIN ON A TRUCK YO THAT SHIT WAS DRIVIN"
"DAMN SON HE SURVIVED IN THAT FRIDGE YO YARIGHHTT"
and my favorite...
"YO THAT MOVIE RUINED MY CHILDHOOD"
It really ruined your childhood?? Was watching the movie a visual time machine that brought you back to your childhood and Shia continuously ass raped you for the first 18 years of your life? Or did you stare at the crystal skull too long and it planted false memories of ass rapings and phallic torture? I don't understand how a movie can ruin a childhood, something that has been long over and done with. That's like saying IRON MAN RUINED WW2 FOR ME SO LAME.
Now, cheesy? It's Indiana fucking Jones...what did you expect? OF COURSE there are going to be one liners and cheesy jokes, have you not seen an Indy flick before? I'm starting to think most of you that hated it have yet to see another Indiana Jones movie...
YEAH DUDE FUCK ALIENS! Did you say fuck aliens that shit's whack when you loved Men in Black? Or Close Encounters of the Third Kind? Or Independence Day? Or maybe when you watched the X-Files for 9 years, you were saying fuck aliens the whole time I bet. Roswell and alien conspiracies were hugely topical for the 1950's, so it made sense to include this aspect. There were only 2 on-screen appearances of aliens and one of them was dead, and shown for about 7 seconds, and the other didn't speak or make any movements, and was only on-screen for about 30 seconds.
Bad directing? Spielberg could make a movie that's just him jerking off to his favorte Animaniacs episodes for a duration for 14 hours and you could still have merit for the guy. Spielberg is easily the best American director to have ever lived and you have no right to give him shit for this movie, which indeed was NOT poorly directed. When people make comments like that and have no means to back it up, that means they just want to sound smart and pick a subject most people won't rebut against because they're not entirely sure how to.
Yeah I know dude George Lucas can't write for shit man, the orignal Star Wars trilogy was garbage...shit dude he's so bad. LUCAS DIDN'T WRITE THIS FUCKING MOVIE ANYWAYS YOU MORONS! He came up with the STORY. He didn't write one sentence of dialog in the fucking flick. His fat ass was eating cheeto's at Skywalker Ranch going YEAHH UHH ALIENS FUCKIN CRYSTAL SKULL EL DERADO GOT IT CHIEF? WRITE THAT MOTHER FUCKER. And even if he DID write the screenplay instead of David Koepp, it would have been just as good. Lucas can WRITE, it's DIRECTING that he sucks at.
I'm not even going to go into the sword fighting and fridge flying, because who gives a flying fuck.
This was a good fucking movie and go spend your $9 on this amazing revival of classical hollywood filmmaking and don't let some douchebag on the internet who only watches CULT favoriteslike Donnie Darko tell you otherwise.
PS Kids: Cult Movies- 60% of the time cult is fancy talk for horseshit.
